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08 December 2006 @ 07:19 pm

OK, I know I haven't written in a while, because--like everyone else--I've been studying for finals, etc.  And when I say "studying for finals," I mean trying to learn a semester's worth of material in a couple of weeks because, face it, 2Ls don't learn all semester long.

But I had to post a little public service announcement.  This is an angry public service announcement.  It's part scolding, part warning--whatever this is, let it be known that I'm mad about it.

If you check a book out from the library, and that book has example questions you can answer, DON'T WRITE YOUR ANSWERS IN THE FREAKING BOOK!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, for the love of Pete, use a damn piece of paper.  Or use your freakin laptop--if it's too much trouble to open a new Word document, just write your little answers in one of your 7 AIM windows you've got open.  You can even AIM the answers to yourself if this makes you feel more comfortable.  Because when you write your damn answers in the damn book, you ruin the entire exercise of the next person using that book.  Because now, when I look at that question in the book you've previously defaced, I instantly know what your "answer" was before I even read the question, and that's just freaking inconsiderate.  And no, I can't just erase the answers, because I've already seen them and the damages is done.  The only thing that partially makes up for this offense is the fact that your "answer" is probably wrong because you're OBVIOUSLY A RETARD.

So seriously, stop it.  If I see you doing this in the library (or anywhere else for that matter), I'll tie you down to your chair, turn your volume on your computer up as high as it goes, and force you to watch this for 3 hours straight.  That's right, I'm brutal.

 
 
 
17 November 2006 @ 06:09 pm
It's been well-established around UT Law School for quite some time now that the bathrooms on the 3rd floor near the Career Services Office are clearly the nicest.  The reason for this is clear--when employers come to UT to interview, we want them to have pristine bathrooms to use, because that obviously will improve their regard for the types of law students we turn out.

However, this distinction for the 3rd floor bathrooms is now in jeopardy.  The bathrooms downstairs at George's are pretty damn nice.  I'm not sure what to think now.  They seem to be in pretty close competition to me.

What do you think, readers?  Best bathrooms in the law school:  Go.
 
 
 
14 November 2006 @ 02:28 pm

I know a lot of people might not agree with this post.

As huge as a Cowboys fan as I am and have always been, I have been very alarmed lately by what seems to be a very big deal on TV.  Emmitt Smith is apparently in the finals for "Dancing with the Stars."

Let's not even get to how incredibly dumb the entire concept of this show is.  Arguably the greatest running back in the history of the NFL, certainly the greatest running back in the history of the Dallas Cowboys, he's on TV prancing around in neon silk shirts and skin tight pants in front of millions.  He certainly doesn't look like the Emmitt Smith I came to love, that rushed for 175 yards against the Giants after separating his shoulder.  He looks like a sissy.  And I don't like it one bit.

Of course, the only thing I would like worse is if Emmitt lost to freakin Mario Lopez.  What a tool.  Go Emmitt.

 
 
 
11 November 2006 @ 05:49 pm

I came across something today that I think needs to be addressed.  There was some sort of high school volleyball tournament at the rec center, and that mainly annoyed me because I couldn't find a parking spot when I went to play basketball at Gregory.

Then I saw a bus of one of the high school teams that was playing in the tournament.  It's a high school near Lubbock called Hereford High School.  I'm sure you've never heard of it, and I'm sure you're wondering why I'm bringing up their team.

Well, check out their athletics website.  Note the mascot.


I'm pretty sure that's not referring to mimes.  Should I be offended?  :)

 
 
 
01 November 2006 @ 12:06 am
because only saints are born on it. :)  Here's to my mom and dad for bringing me into the world.
 
 
 
24 October 2006 @ 05:16 pm

This was not the week to decide to go cold turkey on coffee.

My stomach started getting pretty upset toward the end of last week, and I decided it may have been due to my recent 5-week coffee binge.  There's just a LOT going on this semester, and I've been downing the coffee like a frat boy with Natty Light.  So, out of concern for my stomach's health, I decided to lay off for a week.  This is the third day.

And I could not have picked a worse time.  Rough draft of 30-35 page seminar paper is due Thursday.  Sure, my stomach is feeling a little better, but I don't know if I can actually survive to finish this thing.  Writing generally is not a substantial time effort for me, but this scholarly crap is different.  It's really taking me a loooooooooooooooooong time.  So I'm thinking about the next 48 hours, a lot of which is already filled with other STUFF, and I'm thinking I'm not gonna make it.  I just don't know if it's physically possible at this point.

I may already be going back to the bottle.


UPDATE: 2:17 AM -- The good news is, I still haven't had a sip of caffeine since Saturday, my eyes are still open, and my fingers are still moving along the keyboard.  The bad news is, I think I've started alternating between English and Spanish in my paper, and I accidentally wrote one of the most inane non-words ever -- "irrespective."  I think that means I'm about to call it quits for the night after this section.

 
 
 
21 October 2006 @ 12:53 pm
Dear Deputy U.S. Marshal That Guards the Door to the U.S. Attorney's Office,


     Dude, you are an ASSHOLE.  I really can't stand you, and I have this feeling that you really don't like me either.  You're also one of the best parts about my internship.
  
     I remember my first day coming to the office, when you actually got up out of your chair, blocked my way to the door, and asked my business there.  I told you I was just a measly law student there for an internship, and after checking that out with the people inside, you grudgingly let me by.  I felt pretty awesome and important.

     I figured you probably wouldn't recognize me right off the next time I came, so I happily reminded you, and you let me by again, this time without checking.  I'm even awesomer.  I don't try too hard to conceal my pleasure as I walk past you.

     You definitely recognize me now.  I'm very nice to you every time I come to the office.  I always say hello and smile, knowing full well that you will not smile back or talk back.  Most times, you hardly even acknowledge my presence.  You know, I would still think you were tough even if you let your guard down just a little bit and just said "Hi" back.  But nooo, then you wouldn't be doing your job, right?  Like I said, you're a real asshole.

     But you don't stop me from walking into a federal government office where lots of confidential information is stored and discussed.  While you still check other people that come, even FBI agents and in-town lawyers, you don't even get up anymore for me.  No matter how mean you are about it, you don't ask questions about me walking in and out of that office as I please.

     And that makes me really freakin awesome.

        
 
 
 
17 October 2006 @ 07:31 pm

Check this out...make sure you watch the video, and sound is optimal though probably not completely necessary for this clip's enjoyment.


The Nutty Buddy

Because I'm always concerned for your jewels.

 
 
 
15 October 2006 @ 10:31 pm

Baggage is a very bad thing.

And no, I'm not talking about that girl you're trying to get with who has two ex-husbands, one of which is getting out of prison next week, and three kids by different fathers (you know who you are).  I'm talking about baggage in the literal sense:  suitcases and other things that you check at airports.

I've been doing a good bit of traveling lately, so much that the law of probabilities decrees that I will surely either (1) crash or (2) lose luggage.  Of course, I'm happy to report that the first hasn't happened; but I'm very unhappy to report that the second has.  Twice.

I have terrible luck with luggage.  These new airline restrictions virtually force us to check at least one bag, unless of course you want me to leave my deodorant and toothpaste at home.  And stop telling me to just buy travel sizes, because those are the most uneconomical wastes of money I have ever seen.  The price you pay per ounce is astoundingly high, and, as a principled man, I refuse to pay it.

So my first bad baggage story happened a couple of weeks ago when I flew to New York for an interview.  I land at Kennedy in NY at about 11:00 or so, and my interview was the following morning at 10:30.  I'm already a little on edge, wanting everything to go right, just because I'm interviewing with a big bad NY law firm, and that made me kinda nervous.  After paying $6 for a bottle of water (damn NY), I waited at the baggage carousel, picked up "my" bag, and casually put it back on the carousel because it said "Michael Edwards" on a nametag.  Weird, same bag, I thought.

About 10 minutes later, I've watched Michael Edwards's bag circle the damn carousel about 4 times, but no sign of mine.  I looked around and saw that I was pretty  much alone at the carousel, except for one girl standing a few feet from me.  I walked over and asked her if she came from Austin as well, and she looked at me with a really contorted expression that I'm sure was supposed to be mean and said "No, Boston."  Bitch.  I later remembered that I wasn't in Texas anymore, where it is perfectly acceptable to be nice to strangers.

Well, of course, Dumb Ass Michael Edwards took my bag instead of his and left.  I report it to the baggage people, who informed me that he's from New Jersey, so there is virtually zero chance that he'll bring it back.  I resist the urge to look through his stuff to see if there is a nice suit I can wear to my interview and just leave it there, and JetBlue tells me they will try to deliver it to my hotel in the morning if Dumb Ass Michael Edwards brings it back in time.  At this point, I resign myself to wearing a crappy t-shirt, jeans, and sandals to my one and only interview at a NY firm.  Superb.  Doesn't help that my deodorant and other toiletries were in that bag as well.

As it turned out, Dumb Ass Michael Edwards was too fat to fit in my clothes, so he brought my bag back to the airport very early the next morning.  Lovely JetBlue delivered my bag to me at the hotel at 9:45, just in time for me to pull a quick change and make it to my interview at 10:30.  I gotta say, though: I was kind of looking forward to a "comfortable" interview for once.  Maybe it would have made me memorable.  Anyway, the whole experience was pretty nerve-wracking.

My second bad baggage experience wasn't as bad as that one, but it just happened yesterday.  I was coming back to Austin from DC, and apparently TSA thought I had packed some covert explosives in my bag and decided to detain it in DC.  Once again, I did not find my bag waiting for me when I got off the plane in Austin.  DAMN.  And OF COURSE, I had my car keys in that bag, so I was stranded at the airport until the next flight from DC came in 6 hours later.  Thankfully, I was able to coerce convince a nice person to come pick me up from the airport, only to take me back 6 hours later so I could get my car.  That NEVER would have happened in NY.

So far, with one interview left, those are my worst interviewing stories.  Any other 2 or 3Ls have bad interview stories?  This could be the equivalent to the 1L-gossip stories, if you guys have good ones.  Submissions by email or comments are welcome.

 
 
 
My 5-year high school reunion is coming up in a couple of weeks.  I haven't really decided if I'm going to go yet.  But that's not the point of this post.

Being the technologically-adept generation that we are, the invitations for this reunion were sent via Evite.  This makes for a terrific forum for my former classmates to publicly decline the invitation with a little blurb about why they can't make it that they are SURE will impress the rest of us--and they know it will be sitting there for all of us to read.  This, of course, makes for some pretty hilarious stuff, and I'm going to share it with you.

Of course, former classmates, if any of you happen to stumble across this post, it's all in good fun.  I'm not being a "hater."  But stop trying so hard.

Sorry I can't make it. I live in Orange County, CA and I am already going back to texas the following weekend. Good Luck.
Oh come on, don't beat around the bush.  Just say you live in The O.C.  You know you wanted to say that, so just do it.  We'll all think your life is exactly like the TV show.  And "Good Luck?"  What, Good Luck not living in The O.C.?

Flights from San Diego are expensive last time I checked... wish I could catch up with everyone and hope its a good time!
Same thing.  OK, so you live in paradise.  Don't be cute about it.  Just tell us you don't want to leave paradise to come hang out with a bunch of old high school classmates and we'll all be happy.

I would like to be there, but I will be on a field training excercise at Fort Gordon, GA that weekend.
Whoa, hey there tough guy.  Look, I'm a huge supporter of the military, so I had a difficult time making fun of this one.  I guess my problem is the whole "field training exercise at Fort Gordon, GA" part.  Just say you have army stuff.  That should be sufficient.  I do think you're tough and scary, and just don't come back and kick my ass, OK?  Thanks.

Thank you guys for organizing this event. I wish I could go, but I have prior obligations that weekend. Sorry.
Ooo, mysterious one.  Sure, you make us alllll wonder what you could be doing.  Yeah right, we don't care.  

Ok seriously what are the other obligations? 

Sorry, wish I could. Going to Napa for a bachelorette party. 
That's funny, now that you mention it, I might be in Napa at the exact same time....

sorry yall...would love to be there...but there is just oo uch going on here in Fayetteville, Ar for me to leave. 
This better be a joke.  That's all I'm sayin.

And my very favorite, the ultimate one on this whole Evite........

I unfortunately will not be able to attend. I will be in Manchester, NH, performing with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
If you guys knew this kid, you'd know just how serious this really is.  I have no comment.

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